Marathon Monday- Breaking through walls and increasing miles

It's hard to believe a couple of weeks ago, I was really second guessing my decision to run this marathon. I was feeling selfish about the amount of time I was investing into my training and my body wasn't feeling great. I didn't like the idea of cutting back on my lifting either but knew I had to because I was being counterproductive. I also felt like I had hit a wall both mentally and physically. Running was becoming habitual but I wasn't pushing myself because I just didn't feel up to it. There was even a part of me thinking that I would delay it another year. I knew I could do it if I wanted to and could change my attitude but I just wasn't feeling it.
I am not quite sure how it happened but last week it all got turned around and I am at a good spot mentally and physically again! I have learned that it is not hard for me to commit to things. I can take on a long run and have an attitude of just getting it finished to put it on the books. That attitude is great in a sense because I will get the training in that I need to. However, it takes away from what I am doing and why I am doing it.
With the changes in my overall nutrition and fitness, I have had a change of attitude and have really been pushing myself. My pace has improved, my body feels better after running, my long run days are no longer toast because of fatigue, my attitude is better, and I am enjoying it all while consciously pushing myself harder and harder.
Coming into this training, my goal was to run better than the average time. My goal now is to really push myself to the place where it feels uncomfortable. There have been very few times that I have done that in my life. I like to take the easy way out. Writing it down will help to hold me accountable. This week I have increased my overall miles and am paying close attention to my times. I am making sure each run has a purpose and I am pushing myself.